The fact that you had to live through your nightmares again, or the fact that you don't even care anymore?
For years I've knew my life was never the reality. Fragile links, broken pieces, and an illusion to mask up the truth. That's my world.
Now and then, the cloak falls off, revealing the truth that everyone knows, yet will never admit. The world comes crashing down, until the time the cloak is placed on again. Back to square 1. Rinse and repeat.
But what if, one day, you no longer care? Not that you try not to care, or hide your feelings inside, but from the bottom of your heart, you no longer can?
Once upon a time, tears were still shed.
Once upon a time, feelings were still hidden.
Once upon a time, souls were still torn.
But once upon a time, was never meant to last forever.
Tears stopped flowing,
Feelings stopped showing,
And souls could no longer be torn.
When that day comes, what have you become?
I'm afraid. Not at the nightmare, not anymore.
I'm afraid of the person I am becoming, or have already become.
Today marks the death of my soul.
Or has it already been dead since long ago?
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm never meant to have any happy moments, or that all my happiness must be compensated with equal sorrow.
It was only yesterday, that I had my first, unforgettable trip with my friends from university. Though we only meet for 3 months, I could undoubtedly say they meant a lot to me. Laughter and screams, joys and teases, and truth sharing moments. Now, this.
I miss that moment already.
Save me.
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